Sunday, June 8, 2008

Week 8 update (06.02.2008)

RAW

So this show started with McMahon declaring a match between Cena & Jeff Hardy, the winner getting a title shot at the next PPV (Night of Champions). Of course, Cena won, and I don't really look forward to a Face vs. Face match for the belt. The crowd is already divided on Cena, so maybe this is the time to turn him heel. I've said it before and I'll say it again: something needs to happen with Cena soon, because the crowd is just confused by him.

Elsewhere on the show, Jericho declared that he was going to be a fighting champion, defending the Intercontinental belt as much as possible. YES. The IC belt has a strong history, and without no cruiser title anymore, the US belt sort of being important, & the tag division (hopefully) on the rebound, the WWE needs a belt aside from the top ones to actually mean something. Starting things off was a win over JBL, who was disqualified for bringing a chair into the ring.

Kenndy took on Umaga because Paul Burchill was too busy helping his sister Katie Lea get ready for her match. Kenndy won on a count out after Umaga fucked up his ribs on the announce table and Burchill snuck in to beat down Kennedy. Good start to what could be a decent feud that could get even better if Regal gets reintegrated when he comes back.

Katie Lea & Beth Phoenix teamed up against Melina & Mickie James. All Melina cared about was getting back at Beth Phoenix after her loss at One Night Stand, which worked really well in establishing Melina as a face. Unfortunately, Melina's shortsightedness caused her team to lose, with Katie Lea getting the pin on Mickie James. Post-match celebration was broken up by Kennedy rushing the winning team, who had been joined by Paul Burchill.

I guess Mickie James and John Cena are fucking, because Cena had Mickie James' panties for some reason. Bizarre segment in a storyline that seems to be going nowhere.

Piper was the guest timekeeper in a tag match between Holly & Rhodes and Carlito & Santino, and ended up costing the champs the (non-title) match. OOPS. Holly was all pissed off at Rhodes, who was subsequently approached by Ted DiBiase Jr. in the most interesting storyline brewing right now. DiBiase reminded us that in three weeks, he's going to have a partner and become one-half of the tag champs.

PREDICTION: Holly & Rhodes come out to defend their titles. DiBiase Jr. comes out sans partner. Gets on the mic and announces that his partner is Rhodes, leading to a Holly beatdown and title switch. It'd be cooler if they just took the titles, though, instead of winning them. Maybe Ted's pops will use his pull with Vince and make it a handicap match or something stupid, though.

Cade battled Murdoch in a match that no one wanted to see. Apparently, Murdoch was just holding Cade back, which is the weakest excuse to break up a tag team. This reasoning is even more confounding, because they were a team that worked really well together. How was he holding him back? From becoming mediocre and then cut from the roster? Fucking stupid angle.

McMahon also clued us in to the money giveaway thing, so if viewers register on the WWE site, remember a code shown during the show, and correctly recite it back when being called personally by Vince, they win a cut of the money. Still not going to make me watch live, sorry. No commercials and not having to sit though segments that are commercial/recap/commercial is way more important to me than the slim chance I might win some money, maybe.

ECW

After a Tivo-assisted break for Hell's Kitchen, ECW was up next on our Tuesday TV Triathlon.

Finally, this show is getting interesting again. Teddy Long is the new GM!!!

Matt Sydal debuted against Shelton Benjamin with Kofi on guest commentary. Match ended with a brawl outside of the ring which saw Shelton powerbomb Sydal onto Kofi over the announce table. It was pretty awesome. Shelton got the win via count-out, was rushed by Kofi, and left him lying after a friendly toss into the two-ton steel steps. This feud is suddenly awesome.

Four-way match between Punk, Chavo, Dreamer, & Morrison saw Punk win a chance to face Kane later in the night. The Kane/Punk match ended with a Kane victory and a Miz/Morrison induced Kane beat down. Why do they hate Kane? I can't seem to remember why the tag-team champions have a feud with the World Champion. This makes no sense.

Matt Hardy wrestled Estrada, won, and then Estrada lost to Colin Delany in a table-turning match set up by Teddy. Now, Estrada is contract-less and must earn it back. Could be entertaining, but as Long as Teddy is involved, I'm interested.

SMACKDOWN

Opening segment saw La Familia getting booed out of the building, which proves the Stunt Granny's prediction that the title is best served around Edge's waist. The fans were seriously pissed. Then, Batista came out and wanted a title shot and I was booing for a different reason. This had better not last long, because Batista fucking sucks and would make a terrible champion . . . again.

Vickie said he could have his title shot at Night of Champions if his team won an 8-man match against La Familia (Edge, Chavo, Ryder, & Hawkins . . . sorry Bam). Of course, his teammates were chosen by Vickie and consisted of Colin Delany, Nunzio, & Funaki. Of course, Batista's team won so he gets his title shot. Nunzio was never in this match, by the way. He just ran in during the typical melee that ensued right before the finish of the match.

Fuck off, Batista.

Vickie also announced that she and Edge would be getting married in five weeks on Smackdown. Let's hope that Edge doesn't have a heart attack and Vickie magically disappears.

Vickie also announced that there was going to be a Divas Championship on Smackdown, so that's cool. The Golden Star match that night was actually a Cardboard Star On A Pole match between all of the Smackdown Divas, and Natalya Neidhart won. Because of this, she can now vie for the new title, I guess. Really confusing setup.

Big Show came out and is FUCKED UP. He was all smiles, though, until the Human Candybar Mark Henry came out and challenged Show. Show invited Henry into the ring, but since Show is too fucked up to wrestle, Henry just walked to the ring, acted like he was going to get in, and instead gave Show the I-changed-my-mind-you're-not-worth-it-right-now double-hand wave/brush off. I like both of these guys, so we'll see what happens.

In the lowest portion of the show, the Great Khali returned and squashed Deuce & Domino for some reason.

Fuck off, the Great Khali.

Finlay & Palumbo matched up in a Belfast Brawl for the hell of it. That Little Bastard nailed KO Palumbo with a low blow, causing to drop his Random Motorcycle Chain Of Doom. Finlay then used said chain to KO, um, KO and pick up the win. Interesting segment post-match which saw Miz & Morrison teasing Hornswoggle by holding his hat out of reach, only to be interupted by Finlay, who put the hat on his own head and said, "Go ahead. Take my hat." Pretty hilarious.

Kozlov is now 10-0 with a win over Jimmy Wang Yang. Yang got folded up like the proverbial accordian after Kozlov knocked him silly. In HUGE news, Kozlov, used a different finisher. Instead of that lame inverted DDT thing, he did a belly-to-belly throw thing. Again, NAME THE MOVE THE "LIGHTS OUT" AND TURN THE LIGHTS BACK OFF WHEN KOZLOV WINS.

I'm telling you, it would be rad.

See you next week at some point!
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Now playing: Ed Gein - Pee Wee Herman/Paul Reubens
via FoxyTunes

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Kozlov is going to be a big deal, you watch. i'm just waiting for the time when he finally talks and sounds like the toxic avenger...real classy like.