Saturday, August 30, 2008

Killer Kowalski is dead.

At least he was old. Stolen from Death Valley Driver:


Walter "Killer" Kowalski passed away this morning at 2:15 AM. He had been taken off life support nearly two weeks ago following a massive heart attack on August 18th. Following his Hall of Fame wrestling career Kowalski also trained a number of stars, most notably Triple H. Our deepest condolences to his family and friends.


Sunday, August 24, 2008

Week 20 update (8.18.2008)

So I was out of town from last Thursday until Monday night (including being mostly awake for 33 hours Sunday morning to Monday night . . . nice), so there was no Stunt Granny update last week.

I'm sure all four of you are heartbroken.


From right in the Stunt Granny's backyard, the Allstate Arena (Rosemont Horizon) in Rosemont (not Chicago), IL!!!

After blasting Shawn Michaels' wife at SummerSlam, Jericho continued his tirade against Michaels, which has been very interesting. The angle started out weird and stupid with Batista, but once his part was out of the way, things started to get interesting. Basically, Jericho is still blaming the fans on the fact that Michaels is the way he is, yadda yadda. Pretty funny. Jericho is now urging Michaels to just go home and admit that his career was ended by the better man.

Because Rey Mysterio is a "fungus that grows in the marshes of your psyche," I guess Kane beat him up . . . somewhere at . . . sometime. Batista hit the ring and Kane took out his leg that I guess Cena beat on at SummerSlam.

Also, Batista beat Paul Burchill. Whoa.

John Cena was set to take on the tag champs Rhodes & DiBiase in a handicap match when Cryme Tyme came to the ring and stole the belts. The Stunt Granny suggests, if there was another decent tag team on Raw, that they buy the belts from Cryme Tyme and dangle them in front of the real tag champs' faces. You know who would have been perfect for this? Cade & Murdoch.

JBL gave Jamie Knoble three Closthelines From Hell in a row, went for the pin, the ref counted one, and then got up and called the match. OOPS.

Santino lost to D-Lo via DQ after Beth Phoenix slapped D-Lo in the middle of the ring. D-Lo!!!

Mickie James & Kelly Kelly beat Jillian & Katie Lea Burchill in a fun tag match. Jillian's singing gimmick is OK, but she's not too shabby in the ring.

Main event was CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho, who took a nice dive out of the ring after attempting a spear on Punk in the corner. Punk lost after Cade distracted him on the apron.

Decent show that aslo featured the first appearance of Carlito's (who?) little brother, Primo Colon in a backstage segment.


Almost everyone but Mark Henry and Matt Hardy teamed up for a six-man tag match: Bourne, Tommy Dreamer, & Super Crazy vs. Miz, Morrison, & Chavo. Miz gave Dreamer a brutal-looking Neck Breaker through the middle ropes for the win.

"Boring" Ricky Ortiz defeated another newbie in Gavin Spears. Also in the match was rookie ref Aaron Davis!

Another tease between Knox and Finlay, who will finally have a match next week on ECW.

Main event was a SummerSlam rematch: Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry for the ECW title belt. Good match that saw Mark Henry retain after a World's Strongest Slam.

Better show this week than the past few weeks, for sure. Wish that Miz & Morrison had some other tag teams to work with, though . . .


OK, so both title matches at the Unforgiven PPV are five-man "scramble" matches that see two men start, and three more entering every five minutes, with a 20 minute time limit. This means that all five men will only be in the ring for the last five minutes of the match, but whatever. The WWE keeps reminding us that the title can change multiple times during the match, the champ being whoever has the belt at the end of 20 minutes. Okaaaaay . . . here's the lineup for Raw:

CM Punk (champ)

Smackdown had qualifying matches, even though Raw didn't.

Match 1: 10-man Battle Royale (including Chicago's Colt Cabana wrestling as Scotty Colton or something) won by THE Brian Kendrick after Big Show hit the ring- upset that he wasn't in any of the matches - cleaned house, and stepped over the top rope when he thought he was done. Thing is: Kendrick was caught by his bodyguard before his feet hit the floor, got back in the ring, and was declared the winner. Silly but cool finish. Unexpected, and the fans were pissed.

Match 2: MVP defested Festus - who seems to be getting the push away from Jesse - via count-out.

Match 3: Shelton defeated Finlay after a good match when Mike Knox snuck to ringside and grabbed Hornswoggle. Didn't expect to see Shelton in this match seeing as how he already has gold, but why the fuck not? He's been great these past few weeks.

Match 4: Jeff Hardy somehow hit the Twist of Fate and a Swanton on the Great Khali for the win. Khali looked hilarious taking the Twist of Fate, though, so this was worth watching.

Maria won via DQ over Natalya when Mayrese beat her down for a broken nose suffered at Maria's hand. Match was pretty solid before interference. It looks like Maria is taking the wrestling thing seriously, so that's cool.

Main "event" was Vickie Guerrero wanting to apologize to Undertaker in the middle of the ring. Taker did his long-ass intro and told Vickie that he didn't want an apology, but rather "her soul!" Pretty fucking hilarious. La Familia tried to beat down Taker but he cleaned house, and made the throat-slashing motion to Vickie, who had retreated to the top of the ramp.

Another decent show, but probably my least favorite of the week.

Other News

Actually caught a minute of Rhino vs. Booker T on TV last night while waiting for something else to come on, and yeah . . . they still have six-sided rings in TNA.


Now playing: Cannibal Corpse - Cyanide Assassin
via FoxyTunes

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Summerslam results and quick thoughts

So I never got my predictions in before I went out of town, so here's some reactions to this past Sunday's SummerSlam PPV!

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

Good to see MVP getting a win over one of the company's biggest face, Jeff Hardy. I feel like Hardy is pretty limited, but kids love him so whatever. MVP is my type of wrestler, though, and I'm glad this means he'll be on my TV more.

Santino & Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James & Kofi Kingston (double title match)

I like this, too. Santino & Phoenix should be great as champs, and they have chemistry so we'll see.

Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry (ECW title match)

Matt Hardy won, but by DQ so he doesn't get the belt. ECW kind of sucks, now.

CM Punk vs. JBL

Punk won, so that's cool, but I'm not sure how this went down, so I'll post more about this later. Glad to see a young champ, though.

HHH vs. Great Khali (WWE title match)

No shit.

Batista vs. John Cena

A little surprising, but this feud is so stupid I don't even care.

Undertaker vs. Edge

Makes sense that 'Taker would win his signature match, but based on the scant pictures I saw, this wasn't a total bloodbath like I'd hoped. In hindsight, though, this is probably better because this feud hasn't had enough time to build. What doesn't make sense is that this match was a Hell in the Cell match, which is billed as the most brutal way to have a match. Why waste it?

More later!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Week 18 update (8.4.2008)


Mike Adamle (the new GM of Raw) makes confusing matches:

1. CM Punk vs. JBL vs. Chris Jericho - if JBL or Jericho wins, they get to face Punk for the belt at SummerSlam. If Punk wins, neither of them gets a shot at the PPV. JBL got the pin at the last second, as there was a 10-minute time limit. The time limit was the best thing about the match, and should be utilized more often. This forces the match to have a more urgent pace, and spots like the heel hanging out outside of the ring for a nine-count are eliminated.

Kofi Kingston defeated Paul Burchill to keep his IC belt. Post-match, Katie Lea was left in the ring, and was joined by Mickie James, who defeated Burchill and was then beaten down by Beth Phoenix. At the top of the ramp, both Santino and Phoenix patted each other on the butt. The two of them then confronted Adamle, who created another bizarro match for SummerSlam:

2. Mickie James & Kofi vs. Phoenix & Santino, the stip being whichever team wins gets BOTH belts. Pretty cool, actually.

Kane destroyed Matt Striker and talked about how "he's dead." Still, that bag . . .

Jamie Noble kept trying to impress Layla backstage, and when Layla had a random dancing-in-the-ring segment, she was interrupted by Regal, who was in turn attacked by Noble. Wouldn't mind seeing these two have some stiff, stiff matches. Jamie Noble is a pitbull, remember?

Main event saw Cena & Batista team up against Rhodes & DiBiase for the tag-team belts. Cena & Batista won, and have to defend them next week, so let's hope that they lose the belts in an effort to cause some tension going into their match at SummerSlam.

Decent show, ovreall.


I guess Striker recovered quickly from his Kane-induced beatdown, because he's the new color guy on ECW, filling in for Tazz, who is filling in on Smackdown for the driven-through-a-table-by-Edge Mick Foley. Whew. He was decent, and clearly knows his shit.

Mike Knox called out Finaly, again, who came to the ring with Hornswoggle and gave Knox a free shot, but Knox didn't take it, instead leaving the ring. OK.

Estrada finally got his contract by defeating, yep, Tommy Dreamer. Delaney caused the distraction that got Estrada the win, so he and Dreamer are competing in an Extreme Rules match this coming week. OK.

Newly-fired Braden Walker defeated James Curtis (AKA KC James, former tag partner of Idol Stevens). OK.

Bam Neeley & Chavo took on Evan Bourne and Ricky Ortiz in an OK match. Faces got the win, but us here at the Stunt Granny still aren't very impressed with Ortiz. I guess he's big or whatever, but really likes Chin Locks.

Main "Event" was a live edition of the Dirt Sheet, Miz & Morrison's show-thing. It was very, very unfunny, and culminated with Mark Henry and Matt Hardy beating down the former tag champs.

This show earned a very large MEH.


So throughout the show, Hawkins, Ryder, & Bam Neeley were all found beaten up around the arena. In addition, they all had black roses left next to their pummeled bodies. Has to be the Undertaker, right? WRONG. Of course, it turned out to be Edge, who brought out Vickie and Chavo at the end of the show to take on 'Taker. Edge ended up giving a Con-Chair-To to Chavo and going bonkers on Vickie, tipping over her wheelchair and getting in her face all insane-like.

Again, cool to see Edge super intense, but the PPV is in a week, so it's kind of lost on me.

The "Great" Khali took on HHH (in his first appearance since welcoming a new daughter into the world) in this lame arm-wrestling match. Thing is, it wasn't just any arm-wrestling match: there was glass on the table where your arm would get pinned down!!! Of course, this didn't happen, because Khali got frustrated, beat up HHH, and squished his head in the VICE.

Great match between Jeff Hardy and Shelton was interrupted by MVP kicking Hardy in the head (like he did on Saturday Night's Main Event, I guess) to fuel the fire for their impending SummerSlam match. Why couldn't there have been a clean finish with a post-match beatdown? Let Shelton pick up a cheap, clean win as the heel US Champ, and have MVP pick the bones!

Six-diva tag-team match saw all six ladies dressed up different Olympic-themed outfits, and the heels got the win when Natalya made Maria submit with a Sharpshooter. Fun little match, and we got to see Victoria's finisher, the Widow's Peak. So brutal:

Hawkins & Ryder defeated the newly-fired Shannon Moore and (non-fired) Jimmy Wang Yang. Good to see those two back in tag action . . . oops.

Kozlov came out with his new, lame entrance and demanded better competition. Jesse & Festus answered the call and Jesse got his ass handed to him. Post-match, Kozlov stared down the dopey Festus.

The Brian Kendrick defeated . . . Super Crazy?! Not only is Super Crazy a lot heavier than he used to be, but he wrestled in an ECW t-shirt over his singlet. Huh? Of course, Kendrick got the win. He needs a feud, fast.

Overall, decent week for wrestling.

The Stunt Granny is going on vacation from Thursday to Monday this week, so I'll get my official SummerSlam predictions in this week!

News & Notes!!!

The following people have been given Das Boot as of this past Friday (8/8/08):

1. Shannon Moore - funny that they taped Smackdown on Tuesday, re-teamed him with Yang, and canned him the day it aired.

2. Big Daddy V - this bums me out. Great big man, good personality.

3. Domino - I thought that the Deuce & Domino tag team was a great idea, but I guess not.

4. Referee Nick Patrick - OK.

5. Nunzio - Saw that one coming.

6. Chris Harris (AKA Braden Walker) - Terrible name, but now gone.

Also, Ric Flair is no longer associated with the WWE, and it looks like Mick Foley won't be resuming his commentary duties when his contract is up at the end of August.


Sunday, August 3, 2008

Week 17 update Part Two (7.27.2008)


MVP took on Jimmy Wang Yang and subsequently took home a win. Jeff Hardy came into the ring from his seat at ringside (but not doing guest commentary) and told MVP to shut the fuck up about his personal life (albeit phrased differently) and took out MVP with a mic smash. Good to see Jeff showing some fire for once, duuuude.

Kennedy and Shelton Benjamin wrestled in a great non-title match, with Kennedy eventually coming out on top. Afterwards, Shelton showed a good heel sense of humor by telling Eve that he wasn't going to make excuses, but that he'd been suffering from bronchitis. Pretty hilarious.

The new-and-improved Brian Kendrick beat Stevie Richards. This match was boooooring.

Hardy took on Khali for some reason, a match in which MVP interfered, of course. Hardy got caught in Khali's Vice Grip and that was that.

Somehow, Maria defeated Victoria. I love the way Victoria constantly trash-talks her opponents. She tossed Maria out of the ring at one point and shouted, "Get out of my ring!" Pretty awesome.

Domino took on the Big Show and got Chokeslammed in like two seconds. Umaga then came out to stare at Show.

Main "event" saw Edge host an "episode" of the Cutting Edge with a mystery guest that turned out to be Mick Foley. Edge had a table, a ladder, and a chair in the ring because those were "his" ring comforts, while the Undertaker's is the Hell in the Cell. Pretty cool build with Foley telling Edge that only he can look inwards to beat the Undertaker. Basically telling Edge that he's pussed out recently. So, Edge beat up Foley (including a wicked Spear that caused Foley's poor skull to bounce off the ring steps), put him on the table, and jumped off the ladder with chair in hand to put Mick through the table.

Wouldn't mind having another, oh I don't know . . . two months to build this Hell in a Cell match. Yeesh.

Saturday Night's Main Event

I didn't bother to watch this.

Now playing: Primus - Fish On (Fisherman Chronicles, Chapter II)
via FoxyTunes