Week 15 update?

I don't even know what week we're on anymore!

Raw this week was totally awesome until the last, ultra-stupid segment, where John Cena went searching for JBL out in the parking lot only to be attacked by JBL, propped up against another car (with a camera clearly mounted in the drivers seat), and then driven into by JBL. Of course, when JBL checked to see how brutally he had just killed Cena, he was nowhere to be found. According to the WWE, John Cena was able to escape despite being knocked unconscious by JBL with only bumps and bruises.

HUH?!?!

The other hour and fifty minutes was awesome, with Kane challenging CM Punk to a match because he "needed" to, losing via count-out, and then attempting to attack Punk with a chair. Batista made the save, wanting to keep Punk fresh for their title match or whatever, but then gave him a Spinebuster anyway.

REMINDER TIME!
Kane went bezerk two weeks ago and beat up Michael Cole for no reason. Please note: this week, Kane was carrying around a Mystery Bag, the contents of which were never revealed. Part of me hopes that the bag just disappears this week on Raw, so we all never know what that was about.

Raw opened with Shane and Stephanie appearing in a pre-recorded tape, begging the roster to maintain order and get along during McMahon's injury-vacation-whatever angle. As soon as this tape was over, Raw cut unexpectedly to Jericho and Michaels brawling in the aisle. Pretty cool way to start the show and a great way to put over the chaos angle. Us here at Stunt Granny HQ are begging for a match to end during a commercial break to add a legitimate-feeling aspect to the show, like anything can really happen! A match just ended during a commercial break!!!

Mickie James defeated Katie Lea Burchill and then had to deal with both Burchills until Kofi made the save and put his belt on the line right then and there against Paul Burchill. Another cool angle and a decent match. Kofi retained, by the way.

Santino made an open challenge, which was answered by Beth Phoenix! Another unexpected twist, and beat Santino in a great comedy match.

Snitsky beat Noble.

Main Event was a super hot six-man tag match between JBL and his newest investments, Rhodes & DiBiase vs. Cena and Cryme Tyme. Great, great match that the crowd was eating up, and also served to get over my man, Cody Rhodes, as a (at least semi-) legit hardass. He and DiBiase are perfect with JBL as his cocky cronies, so here's to hoping that this keeps going. Of course, this is the match that led to the opening paragraph of this update.

ECW

Mark Henry came out and bent a frying pan alongside the terrible mic skills of Tony Atlas.

Hardys over Miz & Morrison in a decent match.

Newcomed Evan Bourne defeated Chavo, who was a title contender a month ago.

My boy, Mike Knox, defeated Shannon Moore.

This show was meh.

Smackdown

This show was basically all wedding shit between Edge & Vickie. It was stupid.

Basically, they got married earlier in the day, and at the end of the weak show, HHH revealed his hidden-cam footage of Edge macking on (and then kissing) the wedding planner lady, whose name escapes me. Of course, it's never explained how HHH got this footage, etc. Fucking retarded.

The only things of note from Smackdown happened in the same singles match: the return of Jimmy Yang vs. the new, mean-spirited, cocky, and solo Brian Kendrick w/ a huge black dude named Ezekiel. Kendrick won with Sliced Break Part Two.

Great American Bash predictions next!!!

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