Official No Mercy 2008 Predictions!!!

Alright, here we go! I've been following wrestling, but with football back and Fall TV getting started, I've been a little slack with the posts.

Beth Phoenix (c) vs. Candice Michelle (WWE Women's Championship)

I've gotta' go with Beth Phoenix here. Although it's already been teased that Santino is talking to another woman on his cell phone, it could just be a red herring. Like, maybe he's planning something for her or something. The possibility exists that Santino will cost Phoenix the title, but these two as champs/lovers is too good a storyline to let go this quickly.

HHH (c) vs. Jeff Hardy (WWE Championship)

HHH, all the way. The fans want Jeff Hardy to win, but he's just not good enough on the mic to be champ. Another bizarre face vs. face match that will most likely just confuse the audience.

JBL vs. Batista (winner becomes #1 contender for the World Title)

This is a toughie, but I'm going to go with Batista, even though he sucks. Possibillity of Michaels vs. Bastita, turning Batista heel or something, could be a cool extension to the Jericho/Michaels fued that started with Batista involved.

Chris Jericho (c) vs. Shawn Michaels (Ladder Match for the World Title)

Another toughie, but I'm going to pick Jericho, because while Michaels probably wants another title run, he's so old and crusty that I'd rather see Jericho keep his amazing heel run going. Could be an insane match, because we all know that Michaels likes to perform.

Matt Hardy (c) vs. Mark Henry (ECW Title)

Matt Hardy will win this. Then, 20 years from now, Mark Henry can tell his kids that he was the ECW Champ from June 29 to September 7, 2008, and they'll laugh behind his back that all he had was the ECW title.

Big Show vs. Undertaker

I predict some sort of screwy finish, because this storyline has just gotten started.

Kane vs. Rey Mysterio (If Rey loses, he must remove his mask)

The best part about this was the talk on Raw about Rey like, "What does he look like under that mask?!" Um . . . he wrestled without it for some time for a little ol' company named WCW!!! Once again, choosing to ignore wrestling's history makes this match fucking retarded. That being said, I'm going to go with Mysterio losing, but some sort of stupidity that causes him to remove his mask, but not letting the audience see his face.

See you later on this week for my percentage of correctness, which I will now predict will be 100%.

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Big Vito Mugshot

Looks like he's still keeping those eyebrows nice and plucked. I'm wondering if his domestic violence stemmed from an argument over a dress . . .

Back!

So I've been out of town and busy for the last couple o' weeks, but here's some pro-wrestling news and notes:

-Foley is on a limited contract with TNA
-I've been working my way through an episode of TNA, just for the hell of it, and I'll post my thoughts later.
-Ric Flair got into a fight with one of his daughters' boyfriends or something and got a nice shiner.
-Vito was arrested on domestic violence charges of some sort.
-Jeff Hardy was drunk in an airport.

Unforgiven results!!!

Look at this shit: 75% accurate by my own grading scale! Not too shabby.

World Heavyweight Championship Scramble Match:

CM Punk (c) vs. JBL vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Batista vs. Kane (0/1)

Punk was attacked backstage by Orton, DiBiase, Rhodes, and Manu (who's the son of Wild Samoan Afa) and was unable to wrestle, so Chris Jericho took his place and won the title!!! Definitely didn't see that one coming, but we here at the Stunt Granny like the idea of Orton being a third-generation wrestler and having a stable of second-generation wrestlers. Nice. Sucks that Punk had to lose the belt that way, but this way he can do the ol' "I never lost my title" spiel.

WWE Championship Scramble Match:

HHH (c) vs. Jeff Hardy vs. MVP vs. THE Brian Kendrick vs. Shelton (1/2)

Duh.

World Tag-Team Championship Match

Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Jr. (c) vs. Cryme Tyme (2/3)

Yeah, if you're going to have these two hanging around with Orton, you've gotta' let them keep the belts after Orton talked them into manning up and beating down Cryme Tyme last week.

Unsanctioned Match (2.5/4)

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

I'm going to award myself a half a point on this one, because I accurately predicted the outcome and then changed my mind like a moron. But I was on the right track! Don't know where they're going with this, but hopefully it doesn't lead to these two feuding over the title, now. Michaels is old and crappy.

ECW Championship Scramble Match:

Mark Henry (c) vs. Matt Hardy vs. the Miz vs. Chavo vs. Finlay (3.5/5)

Mark Henry was already stagnant as ECW champ, and the crowd loves Matt Hardy. No way you could extend Henry's reign another PPV because he's just not very charismatic, and neither is Tony Atlas.

Divas Championship Match

Michelle McCool (c) vs. Maryse (4.5/6)

Maryse just isn't over enough to be champ. I guess Michelle McCool is, for some reason.

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Another newcomer . . . Ryan Braddock!!!

So the only experience I've personally had in the wrestling "business" was like eight or nine years ago with this small fed from the south suburbs of Chicago called the LWF (Lunatic Wrestling Federation). I had a community-college class with one of the dudes (shout out to Havok) and we initially bonded over our love of bands like the Suicide Machines and other punk bands before we discovered our mutual fondness for wrestling. He was also the first person I ever saw with a copy of the Method Man & Redman album Blackout, which is killer if you've never heard it.

Anyway, I hung out a few times with these guys and was even fortunate enough to ring announce on these two small shows in a church gym and a school gym. I was probably shitty, but they were experiences I'll never forget. Most of the people associated with this company were cool and just regular dudes, not super interested in being all secretive and guarded about their wrestling business. Of course, I just hung out and kept my mouth shut, preferring to talk about music or things I actually know something about, having been raised smartly enough to know that their business wasn't my business.

It's been fun watching former LWF guy CM Punk work his way up through the indies to his current spot as Champ, but ECW this past week brought us another LWF alum - Ryan Braddock, who wrestled as Brad Bradley back in the day. He was always very pleasant to me (the few times I said like three words to him), and that sort of stuff means a lot when you're hanging out with a new friend's old friends.

I couldn'd find his debut match against Ricky Ortiz from ECW, but he wrestled again (briefly) on Smackdown against Super Crazy, so here's the match for your viewing pleasure.

Congratulations, Brad Bradley!!!



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Official Unforgivin PPV predictions

Yeah!

World Heavyweight Championship Scramble Match:

CM Punk (c) vs. JBL vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Batista vs. Kane

I'm gonna' go with Punk on this one, simply because they're teasing Orton/Punk, which could be awesome.

WWE Championship Scramble Match:

HHH (c) vs. Jeff Hardy vs. MVP vs. THE Brian Kendrick vs. Shelton

I like the lineup of this match better than the World Heavyweight one, simply because it's five solid workers (HHH can work really well when he wants to) that'll put on a great show, even if there's no way that HHH is losing the belt to any of these dudes, except for maybe Hardy, which would be unexpected, but doubtful. HHH = pick.

World Tag-Team Championship Match

Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Jr. (c) vs. Cryme Tyme

I'm going to go with Rhodes & DiBiase, especially since they had that interaction with Orton on Raw and they gave a sweet beatdown to Cryme Tyme, including a classic DDT-on-the-harder-than-anything-else-in-the-universe tag-title belt. Sweeeeet.

Unsanctioned Match

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

This one is being built as the most devastating thing that's ever going to happen. Hard to say, but I'm going to go with Michaels winning, even though that'll most likely end this really fun feud. Chances are, there's going to be some stupid finish . . . actually, that's going to be my official prediction: some sort of screwy finish with no clear winner.

ECW Championship Scramble Match:

Mark Henry (c) vs. Matt Hardy vs. the Miz vs. Chavo vs. Finlay

Weird that John Morrison isn't in this match, but whatever. I'm going to go with Matt Hardy winning the belt, so there's at least one title change on this lame PPV.

Divas Championship Match

Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

Um . . . Michelle McCool?

See you later this week with a tally and thoughts on the results!!!

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Colt Cabana's debut match

Here it is, until WWE takes it down: Scotty "Colt Cabana" Goldman vs. THE Brian Kendrick.