Breaking news!!!
The William Regal as GM/King storyline was scrapped incredibly quickly Monday night on Raw, with him losing a, uh, Loser Gets Fired From Raw match against Mr. Kennedy. Speculation in the living room was that he was headed to Smackdown to heel it up, but I guess not. Real story is a second drug offense of some sort and a 60-day suspension.
BEGIN WILLIAM REGAL RANT
Fucking Regal. His whole book is about ups and downs with pills, and here he is failing his second drug test and getting slapped with a 60-day vacation. This is where I get pissed that there's no legitimate pro-wrestling journalism. With a few clicks of the mouse, I can find out why Regal is really gone, but the WWE website is pretending like nothing is wrong.
What the fuck? Don't you want to promote the fact that you're taking action to discipline these guys? Wouldn't it make the WWE look better in the press? Hiding it just makes the WWE look shady.
In a perfect world, they would have the match on Raw, release a statement to the press on Monday explaining that Regal fucked up and got suspended (and also if they were planning on bringing him back or not), and, if they wanted to, eventually continue his storyline on TV. This wouldn't hurt programming at all, because WWE fans are either:
a) too young to know what's really happening, or
b) old enough to know what's going on and don't care, because if you're still a WWE fan into and past your teen years, it's pretty obvious that you enjoy both the entertainment aspect as well as the hard work the wrestlers put in.
People are going to find out one way or another. If Cena got busted for drugs, people would find out, and there would be nothing the WWE could do to make the fans forget. You've got to just roll with the punches, so to speak.
Why can't this company at least be honest with us off television?
Fucking Regal. I know it's easy for me to say, but get your shit together so we can have the pleasure of watching you be a jerk.
END WILLIAM REGAL RANT
Raw
So in addition to the Regal thing going down, other things happened on Raw, including the tease of Ted DiBiase taking over the GM spot, which was later nullified by showing Teddy Long emerge from Regal's former office. Good to see Teddy being used correctly again, after watching him stagnate behind Vickie Guerrero's wheelchair for so long on Smackdown.
Jeff Hardy fought Umaga (AGAIN) which led to a double count-out/a match at One Night Stand (ONS) . . . which is in TWO WEEKS!!!
Beth Phoenix beat the crap out of Maria whilst Melina did guest commentary. Post-match, Melina attacked the Glamazon from behind with her shoe or boot or whatever she was wearing. Gotta' love that this whole feud is boot-based.
Katie Lea (Burchill) did some bad acting and informed Mickie James that she was also in search of some Women's Championship action. Katie Lea also gave Mickie shit about hanging out with John Cena.
Santino made fun of Roddy Piper in his own version of Piper's Pit, which led to Santino getting another face full of cake at the hands of this Sal guy from the Jimmy Kimmel show and the Rowdy one himself. I guess Santino and "my pal Sal" are having a match at some point, now? Okaaaay . . .
Main event was HHH & Cena vs. Orton & JBL. The heels won, and as such were able to choose their stips for their (re)matches at ONS. It's going to be JBL & Cena in a First Blood match, while HHH & Orton take another stab at the Last Man Standing match. If Orton doesn't win the belt back this time, he's officially out of the title hunt, methinks.
ECW
Well, this show aired.
Adamle had his best showing thus far, but he and Taz rolls are basically reversed at this point, with Taz handling some play by play and Adamle interjecting some bizarre statements here and there. For how shitty Adamle is at calling pro-wrestling matches, he sure is entertaining to listen to. What's up with that "walkout" they staged a few weeks back and Adamle's subsequent apology the next week at the top of the hour? Weird.
In a match that was never clearly explained, Kelly Kelly & Colin Delaney took on Mike Knox & Layla. Of course, we all ignored the fact that Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly were romantically involved two years ago when ECW first made its return. Of course, Knox destroyed Delaney, and then Estrada came out and did the same thing he did last week: declaring a new match and re-pinning Delaney. Also, Estrada's body is disgusting.
After cutting a decent promo, the Miz lost to Kane. Big surprise, there.
Shelton finally got his win over Kofi, and at the same time broke Kofi's undefeated streak. This match was pretty fun, with Shelton countering Kofi's silly (BO BO) double leg drop with a roll up pin attempt.
Billed as a tag-team match between "all former and active ECW Champions," CM Punk and Tommy Dreamer took on Chavo and Morrison. After things got underway, my girlfriend noted, "Shouldn't Big Show be in this match?" Then, Big Show came out and choke-slammed everyone.
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